I'll write this to you...

Typing warms the fingertips :P

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 23:36:26 GMT

Okay, so welcome to Dead Week! The week before Finals where college suicide rates go up and the people who do show up to class are so depressed about the approaching finals that teachers are barely able to get coherent answers out of them.

I think the only reason it's not affecting me is because I don't have that many hard classes.... English is just perfecting our essays and printing them for our portfolio, Calculus is all review (We're only now doing calculating areas between two curves, and the class is pretty much over >_>). History is just like the midterm, he gives us the general questions, gives us LOTS of time to research and get enough information to write two pages, and then we have the entire class that day to do it XD Chem I've pretty much failed, so I may not even go to the final, but I'll probably make myself just because I can >_< Aikido is just a tea party kind of. We get two extra credits for coming too, but I don't think i really need them. But why not? I have nothing better to do that day T_T Yoga's gone too because I've missed so many classes already... Makes me sad T_T

Enough about school though. Let's talk about the weather now! :D The nights have been getting really cold, dropping to below freezing temperatures. They say it's going to be the same tonight. I'm just waiting for the snow >_> If we have a night where it'll drop in temperature and rain, I'll get to see snow falling! :D I'm so excited even though it may never happen >_< Last night there was frost on the cars that we walked past. It was so cool :) Literally XD

Hmm.... What else is there to say.... Oh! jinpmc ! I need to know what you want for Christmas mister >_> anything that you can't get back home? XD

Okay.
I think that's enough for today :)

Leaving on a... Bus?

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:19:19 GMT

Thanksgiving break is almost here! Excitement! :)
I get a week off, and the only thing that would make that better right now would be if it was a week back home...
At least there's no school!

I've been so anti-school lately...
Like, I don't even do my homework any more XD
so sad :'(

Anyways, I leave this Sat, and I'm catching the 9am Greyhound Bus.
So early T_T
Then I go down south to visit family.
Maryssa is coming down :) Happiness X3
I haven't seen her since August 12th! (Which was the last time I saw a lot of people T_T)

Well it's raining here.
Very nice ^_^
Except I got my shoes wet....
So they are cold .__.

okay. Random posting urge gone.
Bye for now ^_^

Oh. One more thing....
I love ryunorai17 !

Writer's Block: Famous last words

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 20:09:15 GMT

If you were close to death, what would you choose for your last words? To whom would you want to say them?

Submitted By whoismarion

View 1522 Answers

I'm sorry Raymond. I'm so sorry...
I love you.
Forever and always.

My Hallows Eve

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 12:22:40 GMT

So Halloween has come and gone, but the fun never ends here :)

I ended up being A Verizon Kitty! I went around giving cutness and cellphone service to all! (In reality, I just wore the eared hat that Raymond bought me, a black t-shirt that matches one Raymond has, and my arm warmer things XD) A last minute costume that cost me $3 for the glow in the dark face paint. I still have to figure out what to use that on... Maybe i'll just finger paint with it.

So we went out Trick-Or-Treating, and I have to say, it was quite fun. There are some nice people out here. A LOT of pets. I got to pet a kitty! >.<
A lot of dogs too. The only time that got scary was when a car alarm went off as we were walking past the car. I'm still jumpy, just like before :P We planned our route so we could get ice cream at the organic place in town. It was amazingly empty there, and Nadia and I both got pints.coffee is my friend :3 We picked up some more candy on the way back to campus, and then went back to the dorm to sort our loot. They didn't really have any cool candy to give out here... It was all generic like snickers and Milkyways and M&M's. I miss those random fun candies that they sometimes give out back home. like those random little marshmallow candies. Those were nice :)

After that, we went to go check out some of the rooms set up by campus attendants for entertainment. One was a scary maze, but it didn't take that long to figure out. I screamed because someone jumped out at us XD Twas fun though ^_^ Then on another floor there was a tea party like Alice in Wonderland theme. The tea was pretty good actually, and I don't even like tea that much :P

The final stop was the dance party on the floor of the building. That was pretty fun. Stephanie went back because she doesn't like dancing, but Nadia and I stayed. Although it was pretty slow at the beginning, it got a little more fun as the night went on. It wasn't like our older school dances, because no one out here likes dancing sober. It was more like our parties at Maryssa's house, with just Le T. I think those parties are better though. This dance was pretty lame, but it felt good to dance. I liked the workout XD so we danced until midnight, then went our separate ways.

Now I sit here, typing this and watching a drama. Koizora. 6 episodes of sadness T_T Gah. I may not cry, but it makes me sad DX
Good drama though.

Pondering...

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 03:34:33 GMT

So in English class today we talked about the essays that we all read as an assignment and we ended up having some very interesting topics come up.

We first read "I Want a Wife" by Judy Brady. That led us into the topic of male and female roles in a relationship/marriage. Apparently, back in the 70's or so, it was the woman's responsibility to be in charge of the birth control. Well you know what I say men? F%#! you. Go put a freaking condom on, because that is a hell of a lot easier than taking a pill at the same time every day. I mean seriously, why? She also talks about how women are the ones who bend to the desires of the man and do all the cleaning, planning of appointments, and cook. Raymond, you're going to have to help with all three of those because hell knows that I'm not doing all three alone. I hate vacuuming, you're going to have to help with the cooking and the dishes every now and then, and I forget just as much (if not more) than you do, so you have to help with schedule planning :3
Another thing that we went over in class was dating and who pays. Why is it that guys have to pay for the girls, and it's always the guys who take the girls out? It's never, "Oh, she's taking him out tonight", it's always "He's taking her to a movie" or something of that sort. All I ask is why?
Also, why is it that men propose to women? Not that I mind (hell, I LIKE it that way) but I'm asking what's wrong with girls proposing? And did you know that the wife's family is supposed to pay for the wedding? Do you know why? Because after she is given away by her father (again, men controlling women), she's to be taken care of by the husband for the rest of her life, or as long as he would want to keep her. Isn't that horrible? That the wife's family has to pay because she is being treated as a burden to her husband. Tsktsk. At least times have changed...
Or have they?
Still in relationships everywhere, women are still the ones who are expected to do cleaning and cooking and all those other household chores.

Lol I sound super feminist in this :P

Story for those who are bored

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 02:19:26 GMT

So I recently bought a new phone because my old one was tweaking out on me and I was getting seriously annoyed.
Anyways, a few nights ago, my friends and I were walking back from an ice cream place that we like.
I was txting Raymond and walking at the same time (I'm going to trip one day).
We passed by a man and a woman walking towards us, and as we passed, the man said to me, "Jeeze, get off your fucking phone!"
We kept walking and laughed it off. Although I was laughing, another part of me wanted to go back and beat the crap out of the guy with my phone ^_^
It didn't help that my friends didn't support me, but agreed that I txt too much as well :/

a) Guy, you don't know me, so don't comment on a one time meeting with me. I'm in a long distance relationship and I'm the kind of person who likes to stay connected with my significant other. That's the way I am so F off. Also, it's not like I was going to run into you or anything. I saw you and moved out of your way. You had no reason to snap at me, because I was being aware of my surroundings and wasn't bothering you. I could understand you saying that if I had been about to run into you, but I didn't, so all I can conclude about you is that you're an ass hole :/

b) friends, become freaking supportive please? I mean seriously, I know I txt a lot, but you guys know why I txt. I thought I could at least expect a little support from you guys, but I guess that was too much to ask of you, huh?

c) I miss Le T :( At least they would have supported me. Heck, I bet a few of the members would have freaking confronted the guy! Sigh. I still want to kind of beat the crap out of him...

Oh well. That was my story/vent/randomness :P

Writer's Block: Take the pain away

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 20:41:00 GMT

If you could say anything you want to the person who has hurt you most in life, what would it be? Did you ever confront them? Why or why not?

Submitted By secret_berry49

View 1529 Answers

I don't ever want to see him again, but If I could tell him things, I guess i would say this:

Why? Why did you do that? I know there was no real letter and you weren't posessed by a ghost, so why would you do that to me? I worried about your safety and my friends safety, I took the abuse, the insults, the fear, I took it all to keep all those I care about safe for what? To find out that you had been the one behind it all along? Did I even do anything to make you have to test me like that? No. It wasn't even a test. It was a sick game joke to you. You said it was just to make sure that I wasn't going to cheat on you and that it got too far, but how Am I supposed to believe that? I don't believe that I did anything to make you doubt my loyalty. but then again, who knows. All I know is, that you have hurt me like no one else has, and I'm glad to be rid of you.
Even though I think you are the person I dislike most in my life, I still wish you the best in the future. I hope you grow up and learn to take the blame for your own actions. And i hope you realize that you were in the wrong when you sent me those things; those words that have been burned into my psyche. Even though you're a year older than me, I hope you grow up and mature. Become a better person for the next person you end up with. Because they do not deserve the you that I got.

Sincerely,
You know who.

Writer's Block: I'm sorry

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:02:24 GMT

If you only had one day left to live, and you had the chance to tell one person from your past "I love you," who would it be? How about "I'm sorry"?

Submitted By crazy_lil_loud1

View 1408 Answers

Raymond;

I'm sorry. For everything. If you still want to be with me after this, I will never be able to repay you for all I owe you. If you decide that we're not worth the tears and pain, then I'll understand. If I were to die tomorrow, I would not regret us and all the memories that we have made together. I have enjoyed being yours for the past 13 months so much that it hurts. True we have fought a lot and have made each other cry for various reasons, but I still love you. Even if you never say those three words to me ever again, I'll still feel the same for you.

Forever and always,
Jennifer

Memories

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 05:53:41 GMT

Dear Sharmy,

It's been a while, hasn't it? Almost 11 months already, and the pain hasn't dulled any; I still want to cry when I look at your pictures long enough... Or if I let my mind wander into our memories too much...
I have since left our house to go to college thousands of miles away. However, the months before I left were filled with tears, pain, and false sightings of you. It always seemed like you weren't gone, but only in another room, just out of my view for the moment and you would come running around the corner any minute, wanting to be fed. But then I would remember... I had a dream about you sometime after our last night together. You came back to me to visit and it was just like the old times, like life used to be back when everything was as it should be. Then, towards the end of the dream, you had to go again. I woke up crying, but I'm so glad that you came back to visit me once more. Thank you so much for that.
I got my driver’s license that summer, and spent a lot of my time out of the house. My friends became a great distraction, and life was almost bearable. Being home was a different story though. Every time I ended up home alone, I would walk up to the living room and just look around and remember. You slept on the chair that I brought back from the cabin, and the couch, and under it, and in the sun by the window. Just like before, back when you were fat and I got a workout just from carrying you. That room was one of the last rooms you were ever in. My bedroom isn't even the same without you, I didn't feel as safe when I slept and the spot where I found you catches my eye every time I enter the room.
Before I left, I went through the photo albums I had and found a lot of pictures of you that I had forgotten about. It was so nice to see you once again, but it brought tears to my eyes. It's amazing how much I miss you... But I suppose in some way I'm glad that you're not in pain or discomfort any more. I still want to be selfish, I want to have you in my life regardless, but I could never do that to you. It's so different without you in my life though. It's like a giant hole is in my world and something is missing...
Raymond and I are doing well, we just made 13 months yesterday. I'm glad that you got to meet him, because he means just as much to me as you did. Except he's at the top of my human love list and you're at the top of my pet love list. I just wish you could have gotten to know him better, because I think the first time you met him was when you were in the vets already. He's taking good care of me though, so you have nothing to worry about. Did it make it easier knowing that I would be taken care of for you? Either way, I wish the two of you could have spent more time together, because I know you both would have liked each other. You could have shown him that animals can like him and he could have shown you that I would be safe with him and that he would protect me. He's just as tolerant of my silliness as you were ^_^
Mom misses you too. She wrote a poem about you after you left, and I brought it with me to college. She came up to visit me last week and bought me a picture frame with multiple picture holes in it. She had filled it with pictures of you, and I keep it on my desk and look at you every day. It even has the first picture of us together in it. You were so skinny back then that I would almost never have guessed that it even was you! I still have pictures of us in my phone from when I came to visit you at the vets. You had lost so much weight by then... But it made me so happy that you still loved me, that you still remembered who I was, that you still wanted to be near me, that you didn't want to be away from me like I didn't want to be away from you.
Truthfully, I sometimes blame myself for what happened. Maybe if I had been more vigilant, if I had noticed more, if I had been there more, I would have noticed the change sooner and maybe the vet could have done something about it. I should have changed your water more, I should have watched you more, I should have held you more, I should have spent more time with you, I should have done so much... People often ask you what you would change in the past if you could, and I always answer nothing. But... If I had one wish, I would wish that you had never died, and that you were still the fat kitty that I knew for so long. I know you were almost 13 years old, but you still weren't supposed to die! You were supposed to live until you were 22...
I suppose it's good that you went when you did though. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't been there for our last days together. I'm glad you got to be home for your last day, and that I was able to get off work that day. Raymond was there, do you remember? We had gone upstairs and you were downstairs, but I can't remember why. Then he and I went to the stairs, and there you were, trying to make your way up them. You were so weak... I ended up having to carry you up the stairs because you were having such a hard time, but you still came up after me. After that we spent a lot of time in the living room, and you slept in the sun. I forget why, but I asked Raymond to watch you for a little while because I couldn't, so he pet you while you bathed in the sun. Do you remember? I remember having to put towels down every time you lay down on something because you were so weak that you couldn't really control your bladder. I didn't mind though because you were home and some part of me hoped beyond all hope that being home would lift your spirits and heal you magically.
I stayed up with you late that night, just enjoying having you in my bedroom again, sleeping on my bed just like old times, but not at the same time. I knew you were going to go, but I refused to accept it. Being home would make you better. It had to.
I fell asleep and woke up to find you on the floor. I would change that about the past. I would go back to that night and I would stay up all night with you, petting you, telling you that I love you, reminding you about how much you meant to me. I couldn't pick you up and put you in the box; it was far too much for me. Mother had to do that, and she took you into the Humane Society that day too. I went to sleep over at Yvonne's that night, because it was her birthday. You remember Yvonne, right? We've been friends for a while, and she's been over to the house a few times. I cried that night. Hard, but Raymond was there to hold me, so I was okay. And being around friends was nice too, but it didn't stop the pain as much as I had hoped.
We still haven't gotten your ashes a nice holder. They're still in the cardboard box, in that velvet bag that they gave us. I wanted to bring you to college with me, but it would have been really weird and I would have worried about something happening to you. I want to go find something when I go back for Christmas. Mother told me that we're going to adopt a new cat too, but no other cat can replace you. You were one special fuzz ball.
I have to go get ready for bed now because it's very late over here and I have a Chemistry midterm in the morning. I love you Sharmy. I'll write again so you know how I'm doing. I hope you're happy wherever you are and that you still remember how much I love you.

Missing you,
Jennifer

Midterms

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 02:17:11 GMT

Ah Midterms. The time in every college students life where they realize, "Damn it, I don't know shit about what they're teaching us!"
I guess its ~~good~~ that they knock us back into the studying mode though.
History wasn't too hard, but chemistry may be more of a challenge. I haven't even caught up yet DX
Summary: Jeener = Screwed :'(

Oh well. At least I still have some chance of passing English...
Well... She gave us the rubric for our portfolios, and they scare the crap out of me.
My writing isn't analytical, or any other type of writing on that list!
I fear for my grades at this point :P

But the computer is too much fun for that.
I've recently made a youtube :D
That has been quite the ~~happy~~ distraction.
It's the reason I didn't get much in terms of homework done lately XD

Oh well. I guess it's time for me to get my act together.
Halloween is coming up and I'm SUPER excited! :D
I don't think I'll be dressing up due to budget, but I'm hoping to get candy.
Maybe I'll tell people I'm a broke college student :D
That'll surely get me some sugar XD

Maybe if I'm really nice, someone will give me some plane tickets home :)

Long time no see... Remember who I am? :)

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 04:58:13 GMT

Soo... We meet again LiveJournal XD
It's been a while.
My college life has started and seems to be going well... I guess :/
It's school, but more expensive and more people. Other than that, nothing new.

Fog is weird and the cold is something that I'm going to have to get used to, but I'm coping.
Today was a nice and cloudy day and the fog rolled in towards the evening. I don't like the sun that much >_<
I wish it would rain more though. That would be lovely <3

Another thing I want, my boyfriend. Long distance SUCKS.
I miss hugs, holding hands, kissing, and just being next to him.
Feels like forever since I had a good hug.
From anyone.

Damn it you guys, I miss home! I miss Le T and everyone DX
Hopefully dad will be okay with me transferring next year...

Wish me luck! :)

Long-term Re-cap

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 00:15:03 GMT

Have not posted in a very long time T__T
Been really lazy and whatnot...
Oddly enough, I've really been needing to vent lately =/

So, let's go over the fair first...
Friday, we went. Very fun.
Raymond shared a waffle cake thingie with me :3
Hehehe...
He got hyper XD
So then I met up with friends and we went through the art tent thing.
I wish I could draw T__T
And yea. Watched people go on rides. Lol at Marlo's face on the Fire Ball XD
Saturday, went on rides with people.
Missed oue on the Musical Express T__T
Next year, yokomtn and I will beat our record of 14 times D=<
Went on the Zipper. SCARIEST shizz of my life!
I could not get myself to look, and then we stopped at the top before we got to get off. So freaky! DX
Pharaoh's Fury. Fun shizz =]
Just a little higher than normal....
So that was the fair. Cannot wait until next year =]
I am going on the Ferris Wheel next year! Dattebayo! =D

So yea... Time for the venting half of this.
Sharmy, my kitty, is relly sick =[
I know, he has a funny name, but I was 5 when I named him people! Give me a break! DX
But yea... He's not really doing that well...
I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want them to worry because I didn't think it was that serious...
It's his bladder. Apparently it's really not doing all that well. Vet is worried, and that makes me worry...
I know he's old, but it doesn't make it any easier T__T
He's been at the vets for about a week now... I wanna bring him home! DX
I swear, I see him everywhere...
It's really lonely here without him =[

I feel a need to vent...

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 06:35:26 GMT

So, I haven't posted in a while. Nothing of any real interest...

Except that I am happily taken =]
Now I jsut have to get him to talk to me more ~~in person~~ ;P
I always seem to fall for the shy guys =/
But he's nice ^^

I don't want this relationship to end up like the last one...
You know what I'm talking about =[

But yea.
yokomtn and I went to work today for more training.
Those people are funny!
We're gonna have a blast working there =]

God. We made wheatgrass shots, and I can still taste it in my mouth.
~~LEAVE ME ALONE!!! DX~~

For some odd reason, I was really depressed this afternoon.
Maybe because I finally admitted what my last relationship did to me =/
But I got a hug from him, so it was all good in the end ^^

I didn't get hugs from a lot of my friends though...
So busy T__T

I really like hugs =]

Doshite?!?

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 08:03:56 GMT

So, it's about 10 p.m. and I'm still on the computer. Shocking, no?
Well, it's really dark, and everyone is asleep, so I'm sort of FREAKING OUT!
My house is uber scary at night. It makes noises >__>

Trying to do my homework, failing. Miserably.

Still hearing noises...
Trying to not run screaming...

Gonna go and finish my homework really quickly now...

Things you must do.

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 04:16:22 GMT

1) Be yourself
2) Relax
3) Be confident, not cocky
4) Believe that you can do it
5) Act
6) Do not regret trying
7) Remember that people will love you, no matter what

Now this can be taken as many things, (like the fact that I need to remember many of these things), but it's meant for yokomtn .
My LJ pep talk =]
Cuz I love you <3

Oh, and I ~~got a job~~ today, but that's not all that important =P

Shoulders

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 06:17:11 GMT

Yup. They are pretty darnded useful if you ask me.
They can answer questions for you and they make you square =D

But what I really needed someone else's to cry on last night.
So sad.
I was having an emotional breakdown.
~~It's funny in retrospect =P~~

I have to learn how to vent to people. ~~One of my manny issues.~~

So... Lip Sync practice today was fun. We're coming along really well =D
We're ~~hopefully~~ gonna win!

My Jamba Juice interview is tomorrow...
I don't think that I'm ready, but I'm never really ready ^__^

Express yourself darn it!
Be a risk taker!
~~Don't think I'll ever be able to do it.~~

I think I've given up on hope for the moment.
It just makes life that much more painful.
And also, I have no chance.
~~It is me after all~~

My friends are crazy, and I love them =]
<3

The good times are back

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 01:38:09 GMT

So football season started yesterday. ~~We still suck~~
Best part was seeing my friends and being out of the house.
~~Still can't believe the score was 44:0!~~

School again tomorrow. Still have to start on that self discovery project.
Wish I had some clue what to start with.

Horoscopes are fun =]

Friends

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 04:50:53 GMT

All you guys are the best people to have ever been in my life. I'm so happy to have been able to meet you and get to know you over the years. Even if I haven't known you for that long, I still cherish you. All of you are great and I couldn't ask for anything better =]

I don't think I say this enough, because I could never express it in words.

I love you guys <3

One Litre of Tears

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 05:42:54 GMT

So I finally finished it today.
Made me cry, made me smile, and made me think.
Why is it that the people who have little time are able to express themselves so openly?
Or is it just that I'm too scared to do it?
I bet it's the second one. ~~Probably.~~

My goals for this year are...
-Make more friends
-Keep in contact with friends that I don't see every day
-Apply to colleges that I want to go to
-Get money to help my parents pay for the colleges
~~-Talk more about what bothers me~~
-Trust more
-Love more
-Become a better person
-Get braver!!!!
-Do homework
-Be happy

Hopefully I'll keep on track...